Its another Wednesday, a day we publish articles on our special segment, “Words in Pen”. Today we are actually bringing back to you a true life story we published some weeks back but got feedbacks from our followers that the story couldn’t be read. We decided to publish it this week for free. This article was submitted to us a young Abuja based lady currently serving in Minna, Niger state. The true life story is about an Abuja based Married man, Samuel, who is an accountant and he is going after a young single Corper for sex. The young lady submitted this article to us for publication to share her experience and to share some moral lessons. The essence of this article is to bring to the public the dangers of marital misbehaviors, the effects and how adultery has caused danger to homes and the society . The young girl decided to remain anonymous for security reasons. Also, for the safety of the young girl we have decided not to give out the full personal details of the man involved but just his first name, Samuel.

Read below the full story as written the girl:

I’m not a good story teller but I have decided to pick up the task writing this article.
Well, I am a lady, still single and just in her early 20’s. That all I can say about myself in this article.
Hmm, it always interests me when single guys and ladies tell me about their dream weddings. How colourful, elaborate and exorbitant they want it to be. Others have a simple wedding in mind. Above all, weddings are beautiful events that always blow our mind, they make some people do crazy things to impress friends and eye witnesses.

I have attended weddings in life, both the ones I was invited and not invited. It’s absolutely cool which ever way because celebrating with others calls for our own celebration.
This piece was inspired this particular wedding I attended in 2017. I had accompanied a friend to the wedding, who happens to be a close relative of the bride.
Like we all know, weddings comes in beautiful variations. Let me start from the pre-wedding pictures (smiles).
Ranging from the pre-wedding pictures I saw on social media platforms, every post were stunning and dazzling. The groom, bride, chief bride’s maid, maids of honour, little groom, bride, men on suit and every other person who graced the occasion applauded every scene appearing before their very eyes on the wedding day. Although as always there will be those that will criticize and those that will appreciate every event.
This very wedding, got me thinking about married men. It’s been 3years now, when I sat quietly in the church witnessing the couple saying their vows to each other.

Say “cheese”! and there we are!
To my surprise the groom of that day, is asking me out for a romantic relationship. He is actually proud telling me that he is still married. The annoying part of it is all he wants is just sex. How he got my digits is actually amusing. There were days we will run into each other at the bank, public gatherings like wedding events. Coincidentally, I was chosen as a member of committee of friends in a particular wedding and he was to chair our meetings. So getting my phone number became easier for him at this point because we were asked to write our names and phone number for ease of communication and for the creation of WhatsApp group chat just for the months left before the wedding. Before now he had been stalking me, he has requested for my number and I refused because I had sensed what he wanted, from his body language and I felt there was no need to dance to his tune. I am into a serious relationship and he is married, no matter what, my capital answer was going to be ” NO”. His calls actually got consistent, SMS and always dropping messages for me on WhatsApp whether am online or off. Even if I was to block him on WhatsApp, he was having a better chance to get at me through SMS or calls. It’s a phone number I can’t do without. He did a lot of things to gain my attention. One was that he paid for my contribution towards the support of the wedding as committee members. The treasurer of the committee informed me that someone has paid for me that was when I wanted to pay for myself. When I enquired who did that and she boldly told me it was the chairman of the committee. In her words, she added ; ‘you are lucky someone did that for you. I am still trying to save to remit my own contribution.’
He will buy me airtime via his bank account and shares his data with me. Those times he does that, I always got an SMS notification from him to inform me he was the one.
I tried my own ways to put an end to it, but he was proving difficult. Immediately after the wedding, I blocked him on WhatsApp, place his number on blacklist and ignored his SMS. He hasn’t given up though, he still changes networks to calls, recently I had picked a call from a strange number and when I heard his voice, I hung up.

My sweetheart has been coaching me on tips how to handle him and its working well.
He isn’t comfortable each time I initiate conversation about his status as a ” married man”.
His wedding still stand out among best I have attended, I was highly entertained as a guest. I had options to make on the delicacy I wanted to eat. I can vividly remember how I ate to my satisfaction, a giveaway to take home and had a portion of the souvenirs.
In my solace, there I lie, with rhetorical questions of how I would feel if my husband wants to have an illicit relationship with a single lady? After all the promises of “I do” in the church worst of it all volumes of “till death do us apart”.
Experience will always give birth to lessons in our lives. Here are my lessons:

1. If one is not ready to get committed to one partner, there is no point in getting married.
2. Marry with a purpose and vision not because of societal pressure, age, to give birth e.t.c
   Extramarital affairs have affected marriages in so many ways. Some of them include:
   a. It is one of the root causes of divorce.
   b. Its opens room for an individual to compare their sex life in marriage with the affair he or she is having outside his/her marital home.
   c. The man might stop taking responsibility for his family financially e.g provision of food and children school fees.

Now, how does this affect the single ladies;
i. It can either leads to late marriage or not being able to marry completely as a result of one’s past.
ii. A person can be infected with disease.
iii. Unprotected sex can leads pregnancy, thereafter abortion which might possibly affect the lady’s womb or pre- mature death.
In few words, I would like to conclude it with what a single lady should do, when a married man comes asking for an affair. This points are applicable to a bachelor.

1. Your body language should correlate with your answers to him or her as no.
2. Do not accept offers from him either in kind, favour or cash.
3. You can recite or quotes scriptures from the Bible or what any other religious book stand against like Qur’an.
4. Remind him or her about the vows taken on altar before the congregation.
   I feel empty because I know, virtues have been communicated to a soul.
   Thanks.

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