“Trust: a tool for smooth walk.” This is an article exposing what trust is, what causes distrust and how one can build trust. Sharon Thomas a skillful prolific writer who hails from Diko, LGA of Niger State Nigeria has much to say about trust. Sharon Thomas in this article has included instances to aid the reader understand better. This article is for everyone be you a business man, a lover, father, leader. Whosoever you are and what so ever you do, you will find this article useful in your sphere. Read below and enjoy….

 By Sharon Thomas…

When every
day stress intrudes into our protected space or an unexpected relationship
problem disturbs our peace of mind, we may begin to have self doubt and
insecurity. We may also not believe in our partners or friend’s loyalty, love
or their trustworthiness. We might not know or have the idea of what we are
doing.  But we could be pulling away from
our loved ones in subtle ways. It has
become more difficult to trust or even open to life in this era of rape, broken
homes, failed intimate relationship between lovers,  poor relationship
between parents and their children also with business partners. Meanwhile, some are fortunate to have
family members, friends or a relationship partner they can rely on or turn to
as a safe haven where they can let down their guards  and be themselves or relax but sometimes even
with those people, things go rough or wrong.

Why do we let trust to rest on such shaky
foundation? On the other hand, wouldn’t it be too risky to trust? What kind of
trust do couples or any form of relationship face today that was not virtually
in existence only decades ago? How can we best deal with situations that
threaten to erode our confidence and trust? Let’s find out the meaning of
trust, causes of lack of trust and how we can learn to be trusted.

Oxford
dictionary defines trust as a FIRM BELIEVE in the reliability, ability, truth
or strength  of someone or something.
Joyce Catlleti M. A, defined trust as the act of placing confidence on someone
or something else. It is the fundamental human experience necessary for society
to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Without it fear rules
and certain life experience can impact a person’s ability to trust others.

Recently, the rate of broken homes or divorce has
increased than expected. According to
relationship expert SHIRLEY GLASS, “Intimate relationships are contingent on
honesty and openness. They are built and maintained through our faith that we
can believe what we are being told.” Infact, trust could be thought of as
the “glue that holds a relationship
together “because, it facilitates a positive emotional connection between
partners based on affections, loyalty and love. By contrast, mistrust can
disrupt even the loveliest couples, business, and any other kind of relationship.  Many things happen in relationships (marriage)
that causes attitudes of mistrust and suspicions in one or both partners. These
causes could be lies, infidelity, past hiding secrets one should have let out
before then. Most people respond to things like that in much the same way they
reacted to their parent’s lies and dishonesty. Relationship such as this
requires understanding, honesty, direct communication, non-defensive and
integrity.

There are numerous aversive experiences that contribute
to children’s mistrust and lack of confidence for example: Parents inconsistent
responses or their lack or failure to deliver on their promises create
insecurity and distrust in their children. A parent’s frightening outburst of
anger can shatter a child’s trust. The betrayal of trust that occurs with child(ren)
sexual abuse as well as incidents with severe physical abuse over the long term
can trigger dissociative states in young victims. These events can also set up
an individual’s ability to accurately judge the trustworthiness of others.

Furthermore, the society has made life uncomfortable
for rape victims, they go through a lot of embarrassment and disregard. After a
young girl is raped, people still feel she is the cause of what happened to
her, they don’t say much about the rapist as being mean or wicked rather the
victim is blamed and condemned. By so doing the affected person keep to herself
as she lives with the stigma. In most cases, the victims begin to withdraw
themselves from people; they keep to themselves and don’t speak out their pains
and sorrows because of fear for what the society will say. Such girls or ladies
find it extremely hard to open up and trust anyone about what they are going
through. No matter how, they never go and never grow past it until they are
able to trust someone.

Importantly, trust form the basis of relationship.
It is essential that people can accept that you are who you say you are and
that you will do what you said you would do. The converse is also true i.e., you must be able to trust others.
Without trust you will have to be all yourself and do absolutely everything
on your own as you could not depend on others to get things done for you. When
you are trying to establish a relationship in any area of your life, be it
business, Love or friendship with people around, you must first make sure you
succeed in building trust. Building trust in some cases could be tricky. While
you may be looking to trust people you should also know how those same people
feel about you whether or not if they also trust you.

Lastly, before you can be trusted, you need to be
able to trust and prove that people can trust and rely on you anytime, anywhere
and in all situations. You need to value every relationship you have, don’t
take them for granted, you should take time to build and earn trust back. Keep
to your words and follow through with your actions. Be honest at anytime. Don’t
go hiding your feelings. Help when you can and never share the news with
anyone. Always do what you know is right and always admit your mistakes not
minding their punishment. This way, you will have a smooth walk with friends,
family, business partners, relationships even marriage and the entire society.

 Written Sharon Thomas

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