It marvels me when I see people associate pride with success. When the status of an individual changes from the way it used to be and the person begin to see things in a different perception which in turn affects the way such individual react to issues, he or she is termed a proud person . People relates to such so quickly as showcasing pride.
For instance, in a company of five friends the moment one begin to succeed and starts to have less time for his friends because of the added responsibility which he might not want to bug his friends with all the time, the friends would start seeing him as a proud and pompous individual. But you will agree with me that self-esteem is different from pride (pride according to Cambridge dictionary, is the belief that you are better or more important than other people while self esteem according to Merriem Webster is the confidence and satisfaction in oneself.) When you see an individual exhibiting some attitudes, it doesn’t mean that he or she is proud. It might just be his or her own way of having self-esteem and self worth or the attitudes that suit the issues at that point in time.
Its important to note that 20 friends cannot be friends for twenty years because, each will have to stand up and face life individually. So do not be pained when your friends do not visit you as often as they used to but rather cherish each moment you get to spend together. It is natural to lose some friends, so always have it in mind that each has his or her own life to live. Ensure you live yours well so when you get to meet together as friends, success will be the talk of the gathering. Been successfull is not pride and self esteem has nothing to do with pride.
Below are ways one can have or build high self esteem that has nothing to do with pride. Credit to m.kidshealth.com( reviewed by D’Arcy Lyness, PhD).
Manage your inner critic. Notice the critical things you say to yourself. Would you talk to a best friend like that? A harsh inner voice just tears us down. If you’re in the habit of thinking self-critically, re-train yourself rewording these negative unkind thoughts into more helpful feedback.
Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so used to focusing on your problems that they’re all you see? Next time you catch yourself dwelling on problems or complaints about yourself or your day, find something positive to counter it. Each day, write down three good things about yourself, and/or three things that went well that day because of your action or effort.
Aim for effort rather than perfection.Some people get held back their own pressure to be perfect. They lose out because they don’t try. If you think, “I won’t audition for the play because I probably won’t get the lead,” it’s guaranteed that role will go to someone else.
View mistakes as learning opportunities.Accept that you will make mistakes. Everyone does. They’re part of learning. Instead of thinking, “I always mess up” remind yourself that it’s not about always, just this specific situation. What can you do differently next time?
Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior.Do you often compare yourself with others and come up feeling less accomplished or less talented? Notice what you’re thinking. Something like: “She’s so much better than I am. I’m no good at basketball. I should just stop playing” leads to feeling inferior, not to feeling good about yourself.
Remind yourself that everyone excels at different things. Focus on what you do well, and cheer on others for their success. Thinking more like this: “She’s a great basketball player — but the truth is, I’m a better musician than athlete. Still, I’ll keep playing because I enjoy it.” helps you accept yourself and make the best of the situation.
Try new things, and give yourself credit.Experiment with different activities to help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in your new skills. Think about the good results. For example: I signed up for track and found out I’m pretty fast! These positive thoughts become good opinions of yourself, and add up to self-esteem.
Recognize what you can change and what you can’t. If you realize that you’re unhappy with something about yourself that you can change (like getting to a healthy weight), start today. If it’s something you can’t change (like your height), work on accepting it. Obsessing about our “flaws” can really skew your opinion of yourself and bring down your self-esteem. Most of the time, other people don’t even notice these things!
Set goals. Think about what you’d like to accomplish. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan, and keep track of your progress. Train your inner voice to remind you of what you are accomplishing. For example: “I’ve been following my plan to exercise every day for 45 minutes. I feel good that I’ve kept my promise to myself. I know I can keep it up.”
Take pride in your opinions and ideas.(Pride here do not mean disregarding others).Don’t be afraid to voice them. If someone disagrees, it’s not a reflection on your worth or your intelligence. That person just sees things differently from you.
Accept compliments. When self-esteem is low, it’s easy to overlook the good things people say about us. We don’t believe it when someone says a nice thing. Instead, we think, “…yeah, but I’m not all that great…” and we brush off the compliment. Instead, let yourself absorb a compliment, appreciate it, and take it seriously. Give sincere compliments, too.
Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who’s having trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, participate in a walkathon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in some other way. When you can see that what you do makes a difference, it builds your positive opinion of yourself, and makes you feel good. That’s self-esteem.
Exercise! Being active and fit helps you feel good about yourself. You’ll relieve stress, and be healthier, too!
Relax and have fun. Do you ever think stuff like “I’d have more friends if I were more attractive”? Thoughts like these can set you on a path to low self-esteem because they focus on what’s not perfect instead of making the best of what is. Spend time with the people you care about, do the things you love, and focus on what’s good. That helps you feel good about yourself, just as you are. (Credit: m.kidshealth.com)
You must find something you are good at, and work at it with all passion. Be yourself, love yourself, love others as you love yourself, respect the opinion of others and build a good self esteem.
The truth is pride is evil and it leads to destruction. It is also evil to conclude on someone’s personality with less or no knowledge of that person. Never mistake self esteem to pride. Finally, let everyone mind his or her business and as well be a master of his or her own business. Pursue success and you will have it. Stay focused.
Written Abigail Moses
This is a publication of Words in Pen, weekly publication of I am Best Magazine…